child: Want other one spoon daddy.
father: You mean, you want the other spoon.
child: Yes, i want other one spoon, please daddy.
father: Can you say "the other spoon"?
child: Other...one...spoon.
father: Say "other".
child: Other.
father: "Spoon".
child: Spoon.
father: "Other spoon".
child: Other...spoon. Now give me other one spoon?
                                                                     Braine 1971

William Shakespeare - To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1)

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the waterspout

Down came the rain
And washed the spider out.

Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain

So the itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the spout again!

charm is a magic formula in folk medicine that was chanted to protect against the sting of a wasp. The worried person probably muttered quickly as the wasp flew round and round his or her head:

Wasp,wasp,poison spike.
From Satan you come: you are both alike.
Stick in stone and not in bone.
Stick in pin and not in skin.
Stick in lead and not in head.
If you stick me you will fall down dead.
                                                       Ananymous

BY: Edward D. Hoch

The children were always good during the month of August, especially when it began to get near the twenty-third. It was on this day that the great silver spaceship carrying Professor Hugo's Interplanetary Zoo settled down for its annual six-hour visit to the Chicago area.

Before daybreak the crowds would form, long lines of children and adults both, each one clutching his or her dollar, and waiting with wonderment to see what race of strange creatures the Professor had brought this year.

In the past they had sometimes been treated to three-legged creatures from Venus, or tall, thin men from Mars, or even snake-like horrors from somewhere more distant. This year, as the great round ship settled slowly to earth in the huge tri-city parking area just outside of Chicago, they watched with awe as the sides slowly slid up to reveal the familiar barred cages. In them were some wild breed of nightmare--small, horse-like animals that moved with quick, jerking motions and constantly chattered in a high-pitched tongue. The citizens of Earth clustered around as Professor Hugo's crew quickly collected the waiting dollars, and soon the good Professor himself made an appearance, wearing his many-colored rainbow cape and top hat. ``Peoples of Earth,'' he called into his microphone.

The crowd's noise died down and he continued. ``Peoples of Earth, this year you see a real treat for your single dollar--the little-known horse-spider people of Kaan--brought to you across a million miles of space at great expense. Gather around, see them, study them, listen to them, tell your friends about them. But hurry! My ship can remain here only six hours!

And the crowds slowly filed by, at once horrified and fascinated by these strange creatures that looked like horses but ran up the walls of their cages like spiders. ``This is certainly worth a dollar,'' one man remarked, hurrying away. ``I'm going home to get the wife.''

All day long it went like that, until ten thousand people had filed by the barred cages set into the side of the spaceship. Then, as the six-hour limit ran out, Professor Hugo once more took microphone in hand. ``We must go now, but we will return next year on this date. And if you enjoyed our zoo this year, phone your friends in other cities about it. We will land in New York tomorrow, and next week on to London, Paris, Rome, Hong Kong, and Tokyo. Then on to other worlds!

He waved farewell to them, and as the ship rose from the ground the Earth peoples agreed that this had been the very best Zoo yet. . . .




Some two months and three planets later, the silver ship of Professor Hugo settled at last onto the familiar jagged rocks of Kaan, and the queer horse-spider creatures filed quickly out of their cages. Professor Hugo was there to say a few parting words, and then they scurried away in a hundred different directions, seeking their homes among the rocks.

In one, the she-creature was happy to see the return of her mate and offspring. She babbled a greeting in the strange tongue and hurried to embrace them. ``It was a long time you were gone. Was it good?''

And the he-creature nodded. ``The little one enjoyed it especially. We visited eight worlds and saw many things.''

The little one ran up the wall of the cave. ``On the place called Earth it was the best. The creatures there wear garments over skins, and they walk on two legs.''

``But isn't it dangerous?'' asked the she-creature.

``No,'' her mate answered. ``There are bars to protect us from them. We remain right in the ship. Next time you must come with us. It is well worth the nineteen commocs it costs.''

And the little one nodded. ``It was the very best Zoo ever. . . .''

A euphemism is an expression in which you avoid saying something unpleasant and reword it to make pleasant.

Examples:

Terminological inexactitude=lie
Shortening the front line=retreating from the battlefield
To be deprived of ones side=to be blind
Someone who is an under-achiever=an idler or  stupid person
The under developed countries=poor countries
The underprivileged=the poor
To translate the truth=to lie
Someone whose actions are incompatible with their diplomatic duties=a spy
Someone who is eating for two=a pregnant woman
Under extreme physical duress=under torture
Someone who is undergoing corrective training=a political prisoner
To depart from this life=to die,pass away